When you can’t measure ‘good enough’

We talk about imposter syndrome like it’s a confidence issue. I don’t think it is. I think it’s a calibration problem.

Most people build confidence through consistent feedback: “You did well.” “You’re on the right track.” “Keep going.”

Over time, that becomes an internal signal: I know when I’m doing a good job. But for a lot of neurodivergent professionals, that signal never stabilises because the feedback is inconsistent.

You might be praised for your results but criticised for your communication; told you’re “brilliant” and “too much” in the same week; relied on to get the job done quickly, but told an extra five-minute break would be unfair.

So instead of building confidence, you build uncertainty. Not necessarily “I’m not good enough,” but “I don’t know how to measure if I am.” Which is a very different problem.

You can’t really solve it with affirmations or “just believe in yourself.” Clearer expectations, consistent feedback and environments where output matters and you are considered can help.

When the signal is clear, you don’t have to guess where you stand.